Improving Your New Year's Resolutions
The holiday season is a special time of the year. Thanksgiving reminds us of the importance of gratitude and encourages us to appreciate what we have. Christmas and Hanukah bring people together in the spirit of peace, happiness, and family.
New Year’s is the symbolic reset, providing a fresh start as we set goals for personal growth and change, focus on new priorities and work towards becoming the best versions of ourselves. It’s a time for those promising and yet dreaded New Year’s resolutions; promising because we have hope for improvement and change; dreaded because our experience tells us most of those resolutions will quickly fall by the wayside. This leads to feelings of inadequacy and failure.
So, here’s a thought! Your first New Year’s resolution should be approaching them in a completely different way than in years past. By focusing on the following suggestions, the odds for success should be greatly improved.
Control the things you can and let go of what you can’t. Make your resolutions process oriented rather than results oriented. Instead of losing weight (end result), vow to eat healthier while exercising more – all in your control. The result will take care of itself.
Make your resolutions specific and objective. Rather than vague goals like “I’ll exercise more,” define specific and measurable objectives, like “I’ll go to the gym four days a week for one hour each day,” or instead of “I’ll save more money,” try “I’ll put $50 in a savings account every week.”
Set Realistic Goals. Make sure what you are aiming for is achievable. While it may be admirable to “shoot for the stars,” aspiring to things which are out of reach can leave one feeling defeated and reluctant to try again. Getting where you want to get can be achieved by dissecting a larger goal into smaller, more easily attainable ones.
Be intentional about your plans. Your resolutions should have real meaning to you, and not be based on outside influence or what you feel society, your parents, or friends think is best. Focus on what you want to do. The rest is just noise. Aligning your resolutions with your inner desires will more likely lead to fulfillment.
Progress, not perfection. Make sure you celebrate all the small victories on the way to accomplishing the end result. Don’t be too hard on yourself, and remember that perfection is the enemy of good.
One day at a time. Don’t become overwhelmed by the scope of your resolution. Keep progress, not perfection, at the core. If your resolution is to eat less and healthier and you have a bad day, remember all is not lost and resume the next day.
Have built in rewards. As you recognize your positive steps, reward yourself and reinforce the behavior you are trying to attain. Buy yourself something, get a massage, connect with someone. Remind yourself of what you are working toward, and the progress you have made.
Be kind to yourself. Stress and undue pressure will undoubtedly make you feel down, inadequate and incapable of meeting your goals and will most likely cause you to ultimately abandon them. Instead, see difficulties as opportunities to learn and improve, and continue taking small steps in the direction you want to head.
Moe Gelbart, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist, a graduate of the University of Southern California, and has been practicing since 1976. He has expertise in alcohol and substance abuse, is certified by the American Psychological Association in the Treatment of Substance Abuse, and was one of the founders of the Thelma McMillen Recovery Center. He is presently the director of behavioral health at Torrance Memorial Medical Center. Dr. Gelbart is a consultant to the California Medical Board Diversion Program and the California State Lawyers Assistance Program. He has wide experience in workplace violence and stress, managed care issues, chronic pain, and works with adolescents and adults, in individual, couple and group therapy. In addition, he treats anxiety, depressive disorders and relationships.
