Written by Dr. Moe Gelbart, Director of Behavioral Health
As we begin to get back to a semblance of normal, or at least the new normal,
we can learn from the past and be stronger in coping with our future.
Honoring our past experiences, and embracing our realities makes us stronger
and more resilient. As we approach the 2021 Holiday season, and prepare
for 2022, we can all benefit from focusing on, and practicing gratitude.
Gratitude involves being cognizant of, thankful for, and showing appreciation
for what we have. It is not only a “feel good” idea, but is
backed by significant research to prove its effectiveness. In one study,
Dr. Robert Emmons, PhD (UC Davis) and Dr. Michael E. McCullough, PhD (University
of Miami) who have done much of the research on gratitude, asked participants
in three groups to write several sentences each week on a particular topic.
One group wrote about things they were grateful for, another group wrote
about things that were irritable or displeased them, and the third group
wrote about events of the week. Overwhelmingly, after ten weeks, the group
that wrote about gratitude were more optimistic, felt better about their
lives, exercised more, and had fewer visits to the doctor than the group
that focused on their grievances. There are clear emotional, social, personality,
career, and health benefits. There are also distinct exercises one can
practice regularly to create an attitude of gratitude and reap its benefits.
Emotional Benefits: Allowing ourselves to focus on the things we are grateful for increases
happiness by more than 10%; improves self-esteem and self-confidence;
reduces depression and anxiety and suicidal ideation; and allows us to
have richer, deeper, and more meaningful relationships. It is also a foundation
for developing and improving resilience, which allows us to cope better
with difficulties in our lives.
Health Benefits: Practicing gratitude shows to decrease subjective feelings of aches and
pains; improves sleep; decreases blood pressure; is more likely to lead
to a regular exercise program.
Career Benefits: The benefits of gratitude transfer to our work environments. Research indicates
benefits in decision making; improved leadership abilities; higher degree
of work satisfaction; lower burnout and turnover.
Resilience benefits: Focusing on those things we are grateful for reduces our stress; helps
us make better choices; help cope with trauma in our lives; improves self-esteem;
makes us more optimistic.
The value of practicing gratitude in our lives is clearly documented in
research. There are many practical exercises we can engage in to improve
and increase our awareness. Here are a few:
- Each evening, write down three things for which you are grateful for that
day. Writing is important, because it not only provides you with a record
of your thoughts, but the act of writing makes the experience more tangible
rather than just be fleeting thoughts.
- During family dinners, go around the table and have each person discuss
what they are thankful for, and for something specific that happened in
the day that they appreciate. I can tell you from personal experience,
that even a two-year old can partake in this with joy. Acknowledge and
reinforce everyone for their contributions.
- Be kind to yourself. If you have had a particularly difficult day, and
finding positives is difficult, then reflect on past events you are grateful
for, and your hopes for the future. Remember, the things you are grateful
for do not have to be big things, but can be as simple as you had food
to eat, or you talked to a caring friend. Appreciate every good thing
in life, not only the big things.
- Keep a gratitude journal. Include your daily gratitude lists, as well as
reflections on events which happen to you.
- Express your gratitude to others. Letting someone know that you are appreciative
or thankful for them, or for something that they have done for you, actually
improves your happiness by up to 20%, according to studies. Managers who
remember to say “thank you” improve employee satisfaction
and motivation. You can do this in person, by phone, or by writing a note.
- Create a gratitude box. Chose a box, and creatively make it special for
yourself. Record good things that have happened to you on small pieces
of paper, and place them in the box. Once again, it does not have to be
anything major, but something which triggered a sense of thankfulness
inside of yourself. On special days, like your birthday, New Year’s
Eve, etc, open the box and read all the great things that you have experienced
in a year.
- Things you take for granted. Imagine yourself losing the things in your
life you take for granted, such as your partner, your home, your health,
and feel what your life would be like. Allow yourself to realize that
these things are not gone, and how grateful you are for each. Similarly,
think about things which you have experienced that are traumatic, negative,
or painful. Reflect on how you have coped, how you have come through those
things, and what you have learned about yourself that has made you a stronger person.
We all know that we have gone through the most difficult year and a half
that most of us have ever experienced. If we allow ourselves to look,
however, there is much to be grateful for, and much we have taken for
granted in the past. We can be grateful for our great doctors, nurses,
and healthcare team which has shown such dedication and caring; for our
friends and families and the time spent with them either in real time
or virtual; for our friends and neighbors who have demonstrated their
giving spirit; and for much, much more. Remember, we don’t practice
gratitude because we live happy lives, we live happy lives because we