How Friends Support Friends Going through Breast Surgery

Written by Evelyn Calip, RN, Breast Nurse Navigator

You just found out that your dear friend has breast cancer and she is going to have mastectomy and breast reconstruction surgery. Are you wondering, “What can I do to help?”

I get asked this question a lot. Probably because I eat, sleep and breathe mastectomy and breast reconstruction. Why? Because…

• I was a patient who had mastectomy and breast reconstruction surgery 12 years ago.
• I teach pre-op mastectomy and breast reconstruction class to prepare patients for surgery.
• I’m a nurse navigator who navigates breast cancer patients from diagnosis to survivorship.

Here are some of the suggestions from myself and other women who had mastectomy and breast reconstruction that may help you help your friend.

1. Emotional Support: The number one thing you can do to support your friend is to tell her “I’m here for you.” Listen to what she needs and respond accordingly. Give her space to do so when she’s ready. Your presence physically and digitally can make the difference. Checking in on your friend matters. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. You can make it simple with silly emails, funny memes, face time or zoom, texting and a phone call.

2. Five Fun and Sweet Gifts: You can help your friend regain her confidence and make her feel special while recovering after surgery with some of these gift ideas:

• SOFT BLANKET - For sleepless nights or while watching Netflix movies. If you feel artistic, you can make a handmade fleece tie blanket. You can use breast cancer awareness fabric or other pretty fabrics from JoAnn’s. Tutorials are available on YouTube or cutesycrafts.com
• PILLOWS - There are a couple of pillows you can purchase for your friend:
  • Bed Wedge Pillow - Since she will be laying on her back for a few weeks recovering, this pillow will help improve body alignment and support upper back and shoulders. You can buy it at Amazon.com or Bed, Bath and Beyond.
  • Heart Pillow - It can be used to relieve underarm pressure. To use, seat belt chest cushion, brace chest area when coughing and deep breathing after surgery. You can purchase this pillow at etsy.com or Amazon.com. Tutorial video available on YouTube if you want to make it.
• CUTE PAJAMAS, SHIRTS, and ROBE - Make sure the top and robe either buttons down or zippers to the front so it will be easy to put on without straining incision sites since it will be difficult for her to raise her hands over her head. You can also make her feel beautiful inside and out by purchasing lingerie store gift card.
• FOOD - Best gift ever! Bake casseroles or buy gift cards to restaurants to take away stress of “what am I going to feed myself or my family tonight?”
• FUNNY CARDS - Laughter is the best medicine! Make her a card that will make her laugh! For example, “Yes! My boobs are fake, because my real ones tried to kill me!” Be creative and funny!

So, if you have a friend who’s going through these challenging life circumstances especially during the COVID-19 pandemic, make her feel loved and connected by a quick call to say hello or surprise her with one of these useful gifts.

Evelyn Calip, RN, BSN, CBCN, CN-BN Breast Oncology Nurse Navigator